Ramping Down

Have you ever heard the phrase "ramping up"? Sure - we use it to say we're gathering resources and momentum towards the end of some big effort. I feel like I've been ramping up for so long now that I've forgotten what I was ramping up for. I have come to a recent point where I'm realized that I am working too hard. That was the easy part. The hard part, though, is figuring out how to stop it! I need to start ramping down. As I struggle with the concept here a couple of things jump out as the bigger hurdles.

One, the felt need for the extra income from the side jobs. Part of what log-jams my time at home are the side jobs I've taken on. They have kicked in some cash from time to time but not a lot. The opportunity cost of them seems like it has been pretty high, too. It takes a long time to do a job and that time come from family time. There are just so many hours in the day.

Two, I've forgotten how to relax. I'm serious about this. When I'm thrust into a non-working time by a holiday vacation or an outing with friends, I can figure it out pretty well - I really do enjoy those times with family and friends. But what I've forgotten how to do is the "management" of those times. Planning vacations, looking for opportunities and pursuing family-level hobbies like taking our bikes to the park, camping and river trips are things that have fallen by the wayside to me. The void is obvious, but when it crosses my mind, I often find it burdensome rather than refreshing; it feels like one more job asking to be added to my already crushing load.

I'm out of balance. I'm admitting that here. Changes need to be made. But, I know that I can't do it all at once. It took a long time to ramp up to this level of intensity. Getting back to normal is going to take some ramping down.